For the entirety of the time I’ve lived in my own first home I’ve been making steps towards making it FEEL like home. It’s a slow process, and it can be frustrating but it can also be rewarding and very, very healing.
I moved to Charlotte with only a few boxes of clothing, my dog and a yoga mat. I love to talk about this as a light-hearted experience, but honestly, it was anything but. I had lost my job a few months prior, my marriage had abruptly ended, and I was dealing with crippling depression and feelings of worthlessness.
Fast-forward six months and I was signing paperwork to buy a tiny little condo and I was overwhelmed and scared out of my mind. I felt like I had no business thinking that I could take care of a home, even if it was just a condo. I didn’t even own a drill, much less knew how to use one. I felt so screwed (no pun intended).
I spent my first night sitting on the floor crying.
Over the time that I’ve lived here the condo projects have begun to reflect my life at-large and the pressure of moving on. For a long time I didn’t believe that I was going to stay in Charlotte, so my house reflected that. It took me years to put anything on the walls and then when I finally did, I felt a little better. Not only did it feel like I belonged there, but I felt like I had successfully learned something about how to hang picture frames (thanks YouTube!)
Since then I’ve found a passion for interior design and have developed a drive to learn about renovations and repairs, and to further create using the space around me. I’m definitely not a designer, and my goals are simple: to create safe and welcoming space for myself and others, and to learn whatever I can along the way.